for the ride of your life

So its Le Tour time again and who gives a rats?

Well I for one do! I'm a mud-monkey all over and will never be caught dead on skinny wheels, but there is one event that tickles my pickle every year - and that the Tour de Lance. But not as much as it could…..

There are many who will complain that its now just a joke in the wake of all the drug fiasco. Floyd Landis just had lost his doping appeal as I pen this and I for one think that’s sad.

There’s an old school of thought that all athletes should be drug free. Gimme a break, that’s the sort of dribble my late Grandad whined about when I was a young peddler growing up.

How about opening the drugs to all in the sporting world? What a novel idea!
Yeah sure there’ll be the do-gooders who don’t want to actually be the best they can. ‘ I may have lost but I did it on bananas and multigrain’ ‘ I hold my head high’ Again - get real. Do you want to be the best, or the best of the rest?!

So just run the Nancy naturals in a separate class. After all, I bet if you could suddenly shoot up legally you’d be down the first dark alley looking for a deal. Anyone know where I can score?

There is so much world wide exposure linked to the tour - not to mention the millions from sponsorship and endorsements that follow. Big corporations want the glamour boy not the plastic toy. They want to sign up the fastest runner, the longest jumper, the biggest lifter. These are the athletes that inspire imagination in the young. And before you dob me into DOCS, the latest run of P.E.S’s (performance enhancing substances) are amongst the safest medications on the planet. Anti-depressants are more damaging!

Free for all I say.

I want to see human beings blow my mind. Its in our nature to constantly set the bar higher, and we all get juiced (sorry) when the bar is cracked off its perch rather than just brushed softly.
How fast can we actually go? How long can we sustain maximum effort?

Who didn’t get a woody when Ben Johnson ran 9.79 in 1988 at Seoul. That was the stuff of legends.
Crack open a good bottle of Stanozolol and lets boogie.

The UCI would stand to reap in a sizable chunk from the networks as ratings soar in the anticipation of seeing the next big thing…….since Lance, do something unbelievable.

How does Phil Liggett look so fit after all these years?